The Gamble Life

Perspective

The day of his first smiles--I tried and tried to get one but never really succeeded, but this is close.  He smiles all the time now and wow, is it great.  The best and most spontaneous smiles are reserved for big brother, as expected.

This is his most usual face, pretty serious for an almost-three month old.

Rockin' the tummy time.  He's actually already rolled front to back once, but no repeat yet.

I've been thinking a lot about how much easier things are this second time around.  Everyone tells you that going from one to two kids will change everything, be much much harder, etc.  And, yes, it's harder (especially from 4pm-6pm! when I need to make dinner, nurse, give good attention to my older son, and invariably someone calls that I need to talk to) logistically and sometimes physically.  But actually, it's easier.  With my first son I tried so hard to do everything "right" and I'm a bit of a perfectionist...so I think you can imagine how successful I was.  I think back on all the days that I ended up in tears (in tears!) and miserable because he wouldn't nap when or where or the way he was "supposed" to (I also read too many books on sleep!).  What a waste.  It's still hard when I know my baby is tired and things conspire (wet diapers, errands, a baby that doesn't know how to sleep yet or just wants his mommy next to him) to prevent a really good nap or to cut a nap short or to make it take longer to get to a nap.  But this time I am so much better at not freaking out, at saying "okay, let's smile at each other for half an hour and then try again," at thinking, "well, maybe he'll go to bed for the night a bit early today."  I know that there is no way in hell I'll be doing anything "perfectly" anymore and it has completely freed me to go with the flow a lot more, to relax and enjoy napping with the baby instead of resenting it.

Also, I know how fast this time goes by.  I don't remember the pain from labor anymore, and I don't remember all the sleepless nights with my older son either.  I won't remember any lost sleep this time around either.  And unfortunately, I'll never get to rock my older son to sleep again--he's too big and grown up for that--but I can enjoy watching my baby as he falls asleep, stirs awake and looks around, then lets his eyes close again while he really does drift asleep.  And I can remember how they are so gentle and little, even the big one, and I can think about how much I love them and how short the time is that I get to have them with me every day.  I get to feel lucky all the time now.

Labels: parenting

Packing...

I copied this wonderful packing list idea for my son and he loved it.  So, he's packed and the rest of us haven't even started!  We're headed to the mountains for a week and I can't wait.  I thought we might forgo our family vacation this year because of the baby but we decided to plan an easier vacation instead and I am so glad we did.  I'm trying to limit the number of books, knitting projects, journaling ideas, etc. that I take with me because I want to leave lots of time for lounging, looking out over the mountains, and roasting marshmallows.  My older son is so excited for his first s'more!  Me too.

I'll Figure This Out Someday

Parenting is supposed to get easier with experience, right?  And parents are supposed to get better at it over time, right?  When am I going to remember in the thick of it that when my son is extra horribly whiny and crying and shrieking like a child I don't know that he isn't a horrible kid trying to make my life hell he's sick!  Damn it.  This happens every time.  All I can do is my best to make it up to him by taking extra good care of him while we ride out the illness.  This time it's an ear infection.  And I remember how much those hurt--I'm going out to get pain killing drops tonight and we'll see the doctor tomorrow morning and in the meantime I'm sure one of us will help him sleep by feeding him more motrin and cuddling as much as he wants.

Book Review: "Banker to the Poor: Micro-Lending and the Battle Against World Poverty"

I just finished reading "Banker to the Poor" by Muhammad Yunus, and WOW.  This book is amazing, inspirational, and eye-opening.  I hope everyone reads it.

From the book cover: “In 1983, Muhammad Yunus established Grameen, a bank devoted to providing the poorest of Bangladesh with miniscule loans. Twenty-three years later they won the Nobel Prize for Peace for their work in eradicating poverty. This is an inspiring story of one man’s realization that access to even a small amount of credit can transform the lives of the poorest citizens of the world.” 

The key difference between Yunus’ approach and everyone else’s approach isn’t in the policies his bank uses (well, they are very important, but they came about as a result of this): he sees and treats poor people as people first, and as competent, trustworthy, talented people who are survivors. Over and over again he had to deflect opposition from people who believe poor people are lazy, they are too unskilled, they need training, they’ll never pay the money back, they’ll waste the money, and so on. But Yunus knew that the poorest people would realize the chance the micro-loan really was: a chance to save their life, and their children’s lives. Yunus has proven that people do not live in poverty because they are stupid or lazy, they live in poverty because they are trapped there by unfair systems (credit systems, governmental systems, charity). He says Grameen shows that credit is a human right, and “breaks the bondage of collateral.” He has a dream to end poverty worldwide (which Yunus describes as a world in which no one dies of hunger and every person can take care of his or her basic life needs). I think if enough people read this book and take action we will achieve his dream.

 

Grameen hasn’t stopped at banking…over time as they see the needs, they’ve created many businesses designed to give power and a chance to the poorest people: cell phone companies, fisheries, wholesale/middleman for hand-woven cloth, and others. Grameen has positive effects on the environment: reduced birthrates are a result of the micro-loans to the poorest of the poor and Grameen has been bringing solar power to the villages in Bangladesh to power cell phones through it’s “phone ladies.”

 

Micro-loans are a powerful tool for women’s liberation (95% of Grameen’s borrowers are women): women in Bangladesh, where Grameen was started, typically never even leave their homes, much less have jobs or interact with men outside of their families. But the women who get micro-loans go on to interact more with people outside their families, they gain their own independence by becoming financially able to care for themselves and their children. Birth rates even decrease after micro-loans! And it isn’t limited to a third-world country in Bangladesh. A few similar programs have been created here in the United States and this is a quote from the book by a woman in Chicago “I never expected that I would ever earn money. My husband never gives me any money to spend. We shop together. He pays. I never had money of my own. For the fifteen years I have lived in America, I have never even had a bank account. Now I have money and I have my own bank account. I have a checkbook. My husband does not know anything about it. I have not dared to tell him yet.” That woman had never really experienced true adulthood until her micro-loan.

 

These are real loans; each borrower is fully expected to pay back both principal and interest, even after a disaster like a cyclone. Grameen is a for-profit bank. And at the end of the day, the borrowers gain self-confidence, self-esteem, independence, and money—they gain a real life.

 

Amazing transformative change from a $25 or $600 loan! This is truly revolutionary. Please go to www. GrameenFoundation.org and see what they are doing. Read the book Banker to Poor: Micro-lending and battle against world poverty. Donate $100 (or more!) to the Grameen Foundation today. 

Labels: books, environment, poverty

My Budding Entrepreneur

My son came up with another fundraising plan, selling "toy lollipops" that he made out of pipe cleaners and pompoms.  He came up with the toy lollipop idea and construction all on his own.  I try to keep a variety of different arts & crafts supplies available that he can get out whenever he wants.  He has an art table and chairs and a cabinet with fabric boxes that I got at Target that holds all the art supplies.  All set up in the kitchen, which is great, because if he doesn't feel like helping with the cooking but wants to be near he can work on his art stuff.  That's what happened with the toy lollipops.

Here's the entrepreneur at work:

I'm really excited about his interest in earning money (he wants to buy himself a skateboard) and his creative ideas.  But I feel sad and guilty about how much of a failure his efforts are.  He sits in front of our house but hasn't even had a looky-loo customer must less an actual one.  My husband suggested a lemonade stand, which is a good idea, but we'll have to set up somewhere else and dragging a two-month old out in the sun for an extended stay at a lemonade stand...I'm not so keen on that.  Oh, then my fabulous husband suggested we take the lemonade to one of the many construction sites around here and sell to the construction workers!  Thank goodness my son hasn't remembered that cock-a-mamie idea!  Cause that's a brilliant idea:  mom, almost-five-year-old, two month old delivering (for sale) lemonade to a construction site.  Let me think, No!

Not that the kiddo is bothered by his lack of customers; he really doesn't seem to be at all.  But how can I make this a better enterprise for him?  There aren't any kids his age in the neighborhood, they are all older or younger.  We could invite a friend over, we can re-locate his stand (maybe on the weekend, taking man-to-man coverage with the kids), I could quit worrying about it until he expresses distress...What do you think?  What would you do?  Should I encourage him to create something someone would actually want to buy?  Oh, he was only going to charge "eight pennies" per toy lollipop!

Labels: kids, money

Roughing It

We came up the stairs last night to head to bed and found this:

apparently he didn't quite make it back to bed after a bathroom visit.  Also, he's been telling us that he's "bored of sleeping in my bed."  There's not much as cute as finding your four year old asleep on the floor.

Labels: kids

Some Random Stuff

This is my older son, in our front yard, at his "booth" selling answers.  We have been reading some Beverly Cleary books, including all the Henry Huggins ones and Henry is very industrious, always earning and saving money to buy the things he wants.  Well, my son wants a skate board so he has been coming up with lots of ways to earn money to buy one.  He brought me a piece of paper and said "Mommy, please write 'Ask me questions...pay me four nickels and five pennies" on my sign.  So I did.  Unfortunately we live on a cul-de-sac off of a cul-de-sac so as you might imagine there is not a lot of traffic.  He did get some gardeners working at a neighbors house to wave to him, but no actual questions.   This is my younger son.  At least once every day I try to match the color of his diaper to his outfit.  When I was little I always wanted my family to wear matching clothes, but they refused.  I think I may subject that on my sons soon! Oh the power of being a mom. A really sweet family portrait of my in-laws and my kids.

And here is just one of the out-takes!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Labels: diapers, kids, money

More Exposed

Here's a petition we can all sign to try and encourage Congress to ban phthalates in children's toys.

Labels: health

Breast Cancer

Yeah, not a cheery topic.  A wonderful friend of mine is currently battling Inflammatory Breast Cancer, a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer that tends to strike young.  I can't do much to help her, especially because I live 1000 miles away from her, but she is always on my mind.  Recently the Komen Walk/Race was held in Raleigh so I decided to walk it in honor of her.  It was nice and I got to walk with a friend (who got to meet my two kiddos for the first time) and I am glad that my money will go to research on curing cancer, but it wasn't a great walk/race.  They had something like 25,000 people there and the logistics were both a nightmare and very poorly planned.  We spent more time waiting in line to catch the shuttle to get to the walk than we did walking.  And that is after we cut in front of at least 1000 people (I did the cutting...I asked the people we cut directly in front of, but not the other 995...but I was carrying a 3 week old, pushing a 4 year old and my friend was 8 months pregnant.  oh and it was crazy hot.).

Regardless, here's a shot of the sign I wore for my friend (I blocked out her name b/c she keeps an anonymous web presence).

And here is a link to a great graphic showing breast changes to watch out for.

Labels: health

My Little Chunk

My second son has proven to be a voracious eater and grower--he has doubled his birth weight in two months. We love his pudgy arms, legs, tummy, and neck and I especially love his strong nursing cheeks! Sometimes referred to as a tick:

I can't resist this little guy--especially decked out in his awesome black diaper.  Also, his shirt says "Whoever Smiles First Wins" (thanks Abby!).
Healthy eating!

Labels: kids