The Gamble Life

Does anyone have a good, simple explanation for what a horizon is and why you can see it in the distance but never up close?  That was my and Gus' conversation on the way to school today.  I did my best but I think he is still a little confused...he wants to see one up close and I think maybe thinks that the horizon is one place or thing even though I explained in a couple of different ways that every place can be the horizon from some other place and that really it is a just a trick of the eye and a name.  I'd love to be able to demonstrate it to him more tangibly, maybe somehow with out globe?  If you've got any good ideas let me know!

In other growing-up news Gus started telling me that his feet were hurting in his shoes.  Yeah, maybe because they are size 11 and it turns out he needs size 12.5!  Go Maya.  Well, he's got them now.  And the whole shoe buying process and its aftermath really have me thinking.  Here's how it went, I say we're going to get you new shoes and he says "I want lace-ups, not velcro."  I'm all for that and in fact he'd never had velcro until we moved here and his teacher told me to buy him velcro because they didn't want to deal with the laces.  So he can't really tie his shoes yet, although he is very close.  I am not the best teacher however! 

But the interesting part of this (to me) is that he has started a movement in his class.  He was so excited and proud to show off his new shoes at school and the other moms are telling me that their kids are coming home and saying they need new shoes too.  And one little boy even picked out the exact same pair. 

This is so interesting to me...the shoes Gus chose happen to be Nike's but he chose them absent from any influence from advertising since he doesn't see any advertising.  I don't think the other boys in his class like them because they are Nike's I think they like them because they are new and clean and lace-ups (so grown-up).  It isn't peer-pressure, but it is definitely a peer-bonding thing going on!  I think there is something intrinsic to clothing that makes it a bonding experience absent from advertising, which I would otherwise be inclined to blame. 

Unrelated happy clothes news:  Gus really likes matching clothes with Abe!  As an only child the only thing I really longed for sibling-wise was someone to match clothes with.  And at four and a half years apart I thought that Gus might not go for it, but I guess he is still young enough that he thinks it's fun.  And he really likes Abe (yay!) so I'm sure that helps.  I'm taking advantage of it now because I think the styles will start changing pretty soon and I won't be able to find matching clothes in size 3 and 8 or whatever.  I can keep knitting them matching sweaters though!

Here Comes the Easter Bunny

And they are finally finished!  I have never sewn any toys before and I can't say that it was the most enjoyable project ever--those skinny arms and legs were a bear to turn right side out.  I learned a lot though and I am definitely in love with these five bunnies.  I only hope the little ones who will get them love them too.

You can see where I used my car fabric for some of the shirts.  The heart fabric was a fat quarter I had in my stash and the green pants fabric my sister in law brought from India for me!  So these are some pretty special bunnies.

For anyone interested in the details, the patterns for the bunnies, clothes, and sweater all came from Purl Bee.  There is a dress pattern too, but I didn't make that one.

After making one sweater exactly as proscribed in the directions I branched out a bit, making some longer, some with thicker yarns, one with stripes.  It was fun and the bunnies are not very demanding!

If you decide to make these bunnies I would suggest that you make your seam allowances smaller than 1/4" on the foot and the bottom of the ears otherwise these pieces are extremely difficult to turn.  Also, I think these bunnies do better lightly stuffed so they are squishy rather than firm.  I also modified the way the arms were attached from the pattern.  I attached them in the same way the legs were attached so there is an outside seam on the sides of the body and the bottom of the body. 

Finally, the pattern directs you to cut out four torso pieces but you only need two, and the shirt pattern has an error.  The shirt pattern has one sleeve about 1/2" shorter than the other!  Also, the shirt pattern is designed to wrap and tie but I converted it to a pull-over style with a simple slit in the back to enable the head to fit through.

I also learned a lot about embroidery.  When I first started I had knots showing, which you can see on some of the bunny feet.  But then I found this wonderful tutorial on how to bury your knot!  You can see on the one set of bunny feet that I did almost perfect this technique (if you look closely you can see where I pulled the knot through the fabric as it left a little tiny hole).  It is so handy!

Sewing Time

I think perhaps five years old is a magical age.  Gus wants lots of attention and wants to spend a lot of time with me still (this is good!) but he is able to participate in what I'm doing at a whole new level.  I've been working on sewing some Easter bunnies (They are finished!  It's very rainy though so I can't get a good picture today.) and Gus said he wanted to sew too.  He went through my scraps and picked out some fabrics he liked (good taste, huh, choosing the Kaffe Fassett fabric!).  I loaded up a needle and showed him how to sew and he sat down next to me and sewed away while I worked on my sewing. 

He decided he wanted to make pillows so after he sewed three sides he turned it right-side out, put in a little stuffing, and sewed it closed.  The button was also his idea--and his choice from my stash of buttons. 

He ended up making several pillows and I think will want to do it again another day.  I remember learning to sew also, and I'm excited he is interested.  I've also been teaching him to knit and he's doing a pretty good job at that too.  He wants to knit his brother a blanket.  I'm trying to make sure these skills stay fun.  It's a fine line because he wants to do a good job, but if it becomes too hard then he won't want to do it at all.  I remember his first Montessori teacher told me once (and I've since read it other places as well) that I never needed to point out what he had done incorrectly or less-well, that he'll grow to see those mistakes himself.  Instead, point out what he has done correctly and well so that he is excited by his mastery and progress.  And this really works--when I admired a particularly small and neat stitch I could see that he slowed down and tried to make the next stitch similarly small and neat.  It's hard as a parent sometimes, not to point out to your child where they fall short because you want them to learn and do well.  But they also want to learn and do well, and they will see their own shortcomings without any help and strive to improve on them if they believe that they can, which appropriate praise will help them believe.

I am NOT talking about the incessant and obviously false constant stream of "Good Job!" you hear from some parents (I've heard parents complimenting their children with such over-the-top and unending streams of Good job! that I've had to move to another part of the park!  "Good job digging that hole! (to a child older than age two)").  No, I'm talking about sincere, thoughtful acknowledgment more than praise.  For example, when Gus practices writing his numbers we will sit down and choose our favorites.  In this way he sees without my saying so that some 5s (for example) are formed better than others and he can be proud of the beautiful 5 he wrote but also realize that all his 5s could be that good.  But from me he hears about the beautiful 5, not the 5s that you have to already know are 5s to recognize them.

As a parent I love my kids so much and I want them to be happy and smart and all those things.  But it isn't my job to unnaturally boost them up.  I have to find a way to support their intrinsic confidence without turning them into praise-junkies, a way to foster their willingness and interest in learning and tackling difficult tasks without making things so easy that they crumble at the first difficulty and without making things so hard that they suck can't have fun.  It's a tough balance, but such an important one.

Bibs

I love how intense an eater Abe is.  He really focuses on his food.  And when he's done, he's very emphatically done too.  Kiwi is a favorite fruit right now.  And why not, it's so sweet and soft!  I'll never forget the first time I fed Gus kiwi it ended up almost giving me a heart attack.  I was a very earnest first-time mom keeping track of all kinds of things that did not need to be kept track of (I had special charts for his sleeping, his meals, his poop, yes, his poop).  Anyway.  The day after that first kiwi?  He had BUGS IN HIS POOP!  Oh my god!  Freakout!  Where could they have come from?!  They weren't bothering him though...or moving...or bugs.  Kiwi seeds.  Yes.  Deep breath.  I knew what to expect with Abe and had no freak-outs.  Also, I have no chart of his poops.  See, I've grown and matured as a mother.

I knit this adorable little bib for Abe on a whim and now I'm planning to make a whole bunch more of them.  They are really easy and fast and the fabric is nice (I used Peaches 'n Cream which is a very cheap cotton yarn found at any craft store) and thick so it catches lots of drips and dribbles.  And then I just toss it in the wash where, unlike most purchased bibs, it does not have velcro to stick to everything else and cause a big ugly knot of things in the dryer.  And really, could he look any cuter in it?

If you think you'd like to make one, the pattern is free.  I don't know if that link will work if you aren't a member of Ravelry, let me know if you have trouble.  Of course, if you are a knitter, you really should be a member of Ravelry, so go join!

Making Your Own Fun

Gus is hard at work here creating his own Chutes & Ladders game.  He had such a good time coming up with stories for the tops of chutes and bottoms of ladders; most of them involved things like "having to give all the money from your piggybank" "breaking a window" "eating all the treats" and "getting an ice cream sandwich."  Also, he absolutely loved making the last row an almost impossible mission with three different ways to get sent back to the first row.  He also came up with a ladder that lands on the same space as a chute so while you thought you were jumping ahead you actually end up way behind.  It was really fun to watch him work on it; he spent quite a bit of time perfecting it too.

I have to warn the parents out there though that while I was really psyched to see him get into making the game and it was really fun to have him show me the board, the game is just as boring to play as the original.  I mean, Gus enjoys it, but I find it mind-deadening.  Still I highly recommend this idea for the next time your kid is looking for something to do.

The Art of Negotiation

The first and most important step is to set the parameters regarding what is up for negotiation yourself, preferably without input from your opposing negotiator.  Example:

"Mommy.  You have two choices.  You can either let me watch a Thomas movie BEFORE I turn six or you can let me chew gum."

When you reach an impasse express yourself in a way that targets your opponents weakness.  Example:

"I don't know Gus.  Six years old is the youngest you can be to watch a movie in this family and Thomas movies aren't really on our approved list even for six year olds because they have mean parts in them that I don't like.  And gum isn't really that bad except that I don't want you to have jaw problems when you are older like I do and I think mine come from all the gum I used to chew."

"Well Mommy, I am getting really, really upset with you for not letting me watch a movie or chew gum." 

Mommy thinking:  Such good expression of feelings!  No threats or anger!  How do I resist this?

"I need to think for a minute Gus."

Repetition never hurts.  Example:

"Well, you can choose either the Thomas movie before I'm six or chewing gum."

Remember not to gloat.  Example:

"What if you can chew gum every now and then?"

"Yes!  That would be great!  Thank you Mommy.  I love you."

   

He's very excited about spending some of his money on gum tomorrow.  We talked a bit more about why I am worried about chewing gum and he feels confident he won't want to chew it all the time like I did.  I remember I loved Trident and I would chew one piece from breakfast to lunch, one piece from lunch to dinner, and one piece from dinner to bed.  I really loved that gum.  The dark blue spearmint flavor. 

Book Review: The Mapmaker's Wife

The Mapmaker's Wife: A True Tale of Love, Murder, and Survival in the Amazon by Robert Whitaker

rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book tells a really amazing story. A scientific expedition from France heads to Peru where each member of the team undergoes sometimes unbelievable hardships in pursuit of their research. But the most amazing story of all, to my mind, is the title story: one of the French scientists marries a local girl (and at 13 she was a girl), who, twenty three years later sets off across the Amazon to be reunited with him.

I would not want to trek the Amazon today, and if I did I would have the luxury of GPS, weapons, maps, pants, knowledge that people had succeeded before me; she had none of these things. Of the 30+ people she set off with (most of them servants and slaves) only four survived. The other three survivors took the only watercraft and traveled that way. She hiked through the Amazon for weeks until she was rescued by a native couple.

Whitaker does a great job of threading together stories from the scientific exploration, the personalities of the individuals, the love affair, the politics, the horrible treatment of anyone not an elite Spaniard in Colonial Peru, and the state of nature in the Amazon into one gripping story.

I don't want to say much more because I'm afraid I would spoil the book for anyone planning to read it, but I really encourage you to read it! I found it especially fascinating to learn more about the extremely limited roles women were allowed to have in Colonial Peru and to see how one woman broke through those restrictions in one really dramatic way.

View all my reviews.

Brain Exercises

So yesterday Gus and I were doing some Kumon workbook stuff before bed.  I love workbooks.  I loved them when I was a kid and I still love them.  I wish they made them for adults; I guess I buy the next best thing which are puzzle books.  I buy way too many for Gus because I love them so much.  Not just Kumon either but I think they are a really quality set of books; I also buy cheaper ones too like the $1 ones at Michael's.  Those $1 ones are always missing numbers in the dot-to-dots though or have other frustrating mistakes in them. 

Anyway, the one last night had a few pages of coloring type activities and usually when we do those together I just color real slow so I won't finish way before Gus does but last night I had a fantastic idea:  I colored with my left hand!  I am right-handed so this was difficult.  In fact, it gave me a whole new tangible appreciation for how hard it is to learn how to write.  And, I remember reading some time ago that it is really good for your brain to do things with your non-dominant hand.  So there you go, a way to make coloring or drawing with your kid more challenging for you.  Give it a try!

Simple Pleasures

His and mine.  You can't beat the joy on that face, I don't think.  Simple pleasures are a good reminder on a day I'm dealing with the always-annoying IRS.

Books You Just Can't Finish

Books you just can't finish...not the kind you wish would never finish, those are great, but the kind you just can't even make yourself read.  That was Rising Tide:  The Great Mississippi Flood of 1927 and How It Changed America.

I tried, I really really tried, and I just could not get interested enough in this book to finish it.   So I finally gave up and sent it back to the library.  It seems like such an interesting topic too.  Oh well, the good news is that the book I'm reading now is very interesting if extremely horrifying in many respects. 

The Mapmaker's Wife is great so far.  I love imagining living in historic times, but I never ever actually want to.  As a woman the past was pretty sucky.  Colonial Peru took that to a whole new level.  And the way the Spanish treated the Indians (native Peruvians, really), it was criminal.

For a long time I would force myself to finish a book even if I wasn't enjoying it; I just felt so bad giving up.  No longer; I feel bad about it sometimes but I still quit reading a book that isn't for me.

We've had nothing but rain here for days.  We always need rain, but it is still hard to go back to cold weather after a couple of 80 degree days like we had.