Why Rush the Grow-up?

I carry Abe in a sling (exactly like this one, only in black) pretty much everywhere.  He's heavy, at least 23 pounds, and I find strollers to be a lot of trouble.  But lately I have started to get a lot of comments:  "he'll just show up walking one day!" "are you going to carry him in that until he's walking?" "he's going to be five and you'll still have him in there!" "Is he going to learn how to walk?"  Man!  What gives?  I've never heard anyone make similar comments to a mom with their baby in a stroller and that stroller-riding baby is getting exactly the same lack of walking that a sling-baby is. 

There is something about being unabashedly close to your baby that starts to make people, especially other parents, uncomfortable after a certain age.  I do not even want to start a giant controversy here but it is the same with nursing, co-sleeping, or kissing.  Once your baby starts to look like a kid folks expect you to put away all that snuggling you do, or keep it at home and not talk about it.

So I think when they see me still holding Abe close to my body in his sling they don't know how to react because they aren't used to it, or it makes them wish they held their own babies longer, or something.  Most people enjoy seeing a newborn nurse, but feel funny seeing a toddler nurse and I think my sling is generating those feelings too.  Abe had a bit of a growth spurt over the last week and he looks more toddler-ish and less baby-ish now and I guess people have noticed.

Believe me, I use the stroller plenty.  At 23 pounds I have to!  He's too heavy to carry for long distances (like at the airport or on a long walk), even in the sling.  Strollers are great, but for us a sling is something special.  Abe never cries in the sling, he can nuzzle right against my face or chest and get comfort, he can turn away from someone who might be demanding too much attention from him (he's got nowhere to go to get away in a stroller), in a sling he can choose how much to interact with other folks (and sometimes he chooses so much interaction I pop him right out and hand him over!), he can rest his head and close his eyes or he can look around and take it all in.

I love my sling and I know Abe loves it too.  We aren't going to stop using it anytime soon, no matter how many silly comments we get.

Comments

[Gretchen French]

After 3 children I have had my fill of unsolicited advice and "helpful" comments. You know your own child better than anyone else does. Do what you feel comfortable doing and what your child needs you to do.
Those wonderful close moments don't last very long. When my 8 year old (80lb, 5ft tall) wants to sit on my lap, it's a big logistical deal, but he still needs mom occasionally. I always tell myself that the "commenters" are just jealous!

[rowena___.]

very well said! i am a new reader of your blog, and i am so happy to find a kindred spirit.

[Megan@SortaCrunchy]

Hi there! I got your blog link today on Kids Craft Weekly - so glad to meet you. I think you and I have lots of the same kind of parenting philosophies. I wore my toddler in an Ergo on my back at the Zoo yesterday and I'm sure there were some who wanted to make the same, um, "observation."

I'm so glad to have found you today. I look forward to hearing more from you!

[A Magical Childhood]

My neck hurts too much to keep my youngest (nearly 2) in his pouch any more but I miss it! I don't know why people are in such a hurry to make their own kids grow up, much less other people's. You're doing a great public service for mamas coming behind you though! And a great service to your little one, of course. :)